I wanted to write this blog post because lately I have been so hard on myself. I find myself feeling nauseous by midday simply because I let the stresses of motherhood overwhelm me. After talking with my mom and venting to my fellow girlfriend mamas over the last week, I have realized three major things I find worth sharing with you guys. 1. The days are long, but the years are short. I get so caught up in the chaos that often times, I forget to press pause and soak it all in with my babies. Arabella turned two last month and it breaks my heart. I’m like where have the last two years gone? I just want to hold you in my arms forever. 2. The second thing I have recognized is that I am doing my best and I have to remind myself of this! Even if it’s every single day. 3. That it’s all going to be okay! We’re all in this together. We all go through similar things as mamas. The good, the bad, the ugly! Being a mom is a hard job, a 24/7 job where people’s lives are at stake—the people we, as mamas, love the most! Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions but most of all, it’s the most rewarding challenge there is.
It can be hard when we don’t have experience in certain situations as moms and we begin to struggle, believe me, I know! Lately, it has seemed close to impossible to make both kiddos happy, keep my house clean, keep my laundry caught up, and try to throw together dinner before my husband gets home from work. But I have found, there are things that make getting through those struggles easier. When I find myself struggling like this, I let Josh know, hey I’m having a rough day. I need you. It is so important to communicate with your significant other! I am lucky to have Josh and lucky that when he gets home after working 12 hours and has to order dinner from UberEats, that he still loves me. (lol) My point is that it is totally okay to ask for help! Whether it is from our partners, friends, parents, etc. It is okay!
It’s also okay to know that you don’t have it all figured out! It’s okay to realize that you’re still learning how to be a mom. Arabella is over two and yes, I just had my second baby, but I am totally still learning you guys! I also had an idea in my head that by the time LJ got here, I would be a pro. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I really think I am a pro… then a mom fail happens and I remember, I will probably always still be learning. There are days when I get the kids out of the house and we go feed the ducks at the park all by ourselves then hit up the splash pad and there’s no meltdowns…and I’m like okay, I really got this all together.
Then the next day, I can’t even get us out of the house to go get milk from the store because if one baby isn’t crying, the other one is hungry or needs a diaper change…And the cycle doesn’t end! Kid you not, you should have seen me in Walmart the other day getting a DVD player for the house. I have the double stroller, Arabella is supposed to stand on it but all she wanted to do was collect every.single.disney.dvd.ever. and I mean like ever! It was so embarrassing because literally the stroller compartment is overflowing with DVDS, LJ is getting hungry so he is crying, and Arabella is screaming because she doesn’t understand why she can’t have every single DVD in the stroller. When I finally make my way to the car, I buckle both kids in, get all the bags into the car and Arabella starts screaming “pee!” Now that she’s potty trained, she only wears undies, but you’ve gotta move quick to get her to a potty! Welp….we parked in the very back of the Walmart parking lot, LJ was already buckled in, and there was just no time! I was literally dying inside, trying to hold my car door shut behind me as I’m holding up my toddler over the asphalt so she can pee. Whew, well she made it- pee splatters all over my feet and all. Horrified that I just had to be “that mom”, but thankful that my kid and the carseat weren’t full of pee, I’m like okay let’s get out of here as quickly as possible. I get home, all the bags and groceries get put away, and then I realize I forgot the DVD player in the very back of the car. So I go out to the car to get it, and realize hmmm… the stroller is not in the freaking car! I was so overwhelmed after Arabella peed in the parking lot that I seriously forgot to put the stroller away. I literally left it in the middle of the parking spot. Wish I was kidding, but I’m so not! SO I had to pack the kids back up in the car, drive back to Walmart, and thankfully (for some sweet stranger) when I got back, I saw my stroller parked on the sidewalk. I mean seriously, just a normal day for me.
It’s days like that, that I find I really struggle with knowing that it is okay to be stressed out with the kids. It’s okay to forget about all other responsibilities and just sit on the floor and color in a coloring book or walk down to the park. I am learning how to be okay with the fact that I can’t always please everyone at the same time. Sometimes my house is going to be a mess, oh well! I have learned that sometimes you gotta throw OCD out the window and accept that your child is going to try to walk through the grocery store barefoot with black feet, and try to eat sand at the park. What are you gonna do.
IT’S OKAY. Sometimes, you have to realize that nothing else matters in those moments than spending quality time with the kids. It IS okay to pray that bedtime comes early on certain days and it IS okay to order takeout when you’ve literally had the worst day ever!
After getting myself so worked up and overwhelmed for the last two weeks, I have come to the conclusion that there have been things that have helped me through it. First, talking about it. Sharing my experiences with my friends and my mom has been both therapeutic and encouraging. Reaching out to moms on social media and hearing their feedback, has also really helped me think of different ways to handle things like tantrums. It feels good to know that people have struggled with the same things as me, and have made it out alive! I have also realized that self-care is super important. If I am not my best me, I can’t be the best mom. Getting myself Starbucks when I have needed it, staying up after the kids go to sleep to sneak in one of my soap operas and have a glass of wine— has totally helped. It’s hard to find time to relax when you’re a full time momma, but it is so necessary in order for us to keep our sanity.
And lastly, I have been focusing on two things when it comes to the kids: patience and gratitude. I know my babies are going to be a day older everyday. This is the most important, because when I’ve had an exhausting day and just wish it would be over, I remember how fast these babies grow. They will only be this little right now and one day I will do nothing but wish I could hold them in my arms again the way I do now. I never want to be too busy and caught up in chores to tell my babies how much I love them and how special they are every single day. I am so blessed to be their mom and in the end, that’s all that really matters. So… this mom is doing her best and I hope all you mamas know how good you’re doin’ too!
My mom showed me this amazing video made by vlogger, Esther Anderson, and you guys! It totally melted my heart. An eye-opener for sure!
Check it out here- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bL7Y6S4dMjI
Matching Teal Outfits- Lulu & Roo
Did We Just Become Best Friends?” Set- Spill the Beans Etc. Co
“Chill” outfits- Rags to Raches
Elephant Blanket- Coveted Things
Wine glass- Copper Two